Sometimes I struggle with feeling like I don’t quite fit in. I don’t really belong to the group of single people but at the same time don’t quite fit in to the married group of people. You see, I have been separated from my husband these last three years. Sometimes I feel a lot older than my age…well I have the grey hairs and the beginnings of wrinkles to go along with it 😉 Granted I am only 28, but I feel like I have already lived a whole life being single, then married, and now separated. It’s a weird feeling and hard to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced this path.
I remember in the first few months of being separated, going to a play with my kids and parents and so strongly feeling like I had a sign on my back that said “separate from husband.” I was embarrassed, afraid of people asking questions in the beginning. In the last few years, it has gotten SO much better. Most people around me and at my church, know my story and are so supportive and loving to my kids and I. Seriously, if you are a single mom or going through anything challenging or i.e. just living life 😉 and aren’t involved in a church-run, go find one. It’s the best place for you and your kids to be.
To be honest with you, even with this support, I still have times of feeling out of place. Recently I went to a wedding with my kids, where there were lot of other couples and families. It was a wonderful celebration but I couldn’t help leaving the event feeling lonely and sad. I called my mom (who is a huge encouragement to me) and chatted with her on the way home. I have to remind myself in those moments that those feelings don’t have to isolate me from others. In fact, the better way to look at them is as an “isolated experience.” On most days, I love being with my kids, I enjoy doing a lot of things on my own and always have (which is a major plus that God gave me this personality with living on my own!). I have a pretty good life thanks to God’s provisions of all my needs.
Why I am I sharing this with you? Well, I have come to realize that I’m not the only one that feels like they don’t fit in sometimes. In fact, I bet if I were to take a survey of you all, MANY of you would say you have times where you just feel out of place, even weird or different. I think it’s human nature to often think we are the only one who feels this way or that we are the only one with our life a mess. In reality, we are just one of the masses!
If you watched my recent Insta story video, then you heard me say that I desire to be more authentic and real with you all. So here I am, bearing my heart a little bit! I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that no one’s life is picture perfect, even if it looks like it on Instagram. I think we need to remember the blessings we have (like what I shared in this post). We can get through a season, a moment of feeling like we don’t fit in, when we remember that God is in control and He has got us in His hands. There is no better place to be my friends than in the Savior’s loving arms.
P.S. All photos by Sandy of Island Mom Photography.